Saturday, February 27, 2010
Abuse is defined in the dictionary as:
To treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way.
To speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about.
To commit sexual assault upon.
To use wrongly or improperly; misuse.
Bad or improper treatment; maltreatment

So, having defined abuse as such, does spanking fall into the category?

Well, according to Science Daily:
Children who are spanked or victims of other corporal punishment are more likely to have sexual problems as a teen or adult.
Science Daily also says:

The results of four studies and found that spanking and other corporal punishment by parents is associated with an increased probability of three sexual problems as a teen or adult:

  • Verbally and physically coercing a dating partner to have sex.
  • Risky sex such as premarital sex without a condom.
  • Masochistic sex such as being aroused by being spanked when having sex.
There are some who still claim that spanking is the answer to all of their problems. Striking the fear of God, or in this case, the parent, gives parents a false sense of "control" over their children.
There are many advocates of spanking as a form of discipline. I still have no idea as to why. The more a parent tries to reassure me that they "Don't spank out of anger" or "Spanking is the only thing that works" the more I shake my head.

I remember being spanked as a child, and I hate the saying "Well, I was spanked, and I am okay!".
That may be true or it may not be. The point being, I was scared to be spanked. I remember hiding things so that I didn't tell my parents about them, for fear they would find out and spank me.

I honestly believe that things would have been different on me hiding things, I might have been better able to share and trust if I did not get spankings. That said, I love my parents, and I do understand that they did what they knew and were taught. I knew I would change that with my daughter.

Dr. Sears lists 10 reasons why hitting your child is wrong. I urge you to check out his site for the full list and explanations, I am going to summarize them:

10 REASONS NOT TO HIT YOUR CHILD

1. HITTING MODELS HITTING
2. HITTING DEVALUES THE CHILD
3. HITTING DEVALUES THE PARENT
4. HITTING MAY LEAD TO ABUSE
5. HITTING DOES NOT IMPROVE BEHAVIOR
6. HITTING IS ACTUALLY NOT BIBLICAL
7. HITTING PROMOTES ANGER - IN CHILDREN AND IN PARENTS
8. HITTING BRINGS BACK BAD MEMORIES
10. SPANKING DOESN'T WORK

Again, I urge you to see Dr. Sears Website...
There are more articles on the side effects of spanking for both parent and child!

So again, I come back to wondering, is there any REAL reason to spank? I am still looking for someone who can give me a better excuse than, "Nothing else works".

Family Education has an article written about a mom who spanks:

We do spank our child, but only when it's necessary. We use time-outs, or other non-physical punishments first and if the behavior or situation isn't corrected, then we'll spank her, but only on her bottom. We tell her if she doesn't behave she will get a spanking -- so it's her choice to correct her behavior or take the spanking. For the most part, time-outs work sufficiently. But I do believe that a spanking now and then, if deserved, is okay.
-- Heidi1969

When does a child EVER deserve to be hit? I personally feel that this mother is using spanking as a scare tactic to get the child to do what she wants. Yes, time out's are similar, but time outs do not require physical force or violence!
Here is another one:
I used to think that spanking was absolutely wrong. Because I was beaten regularly myself as a child, I vowed never to hit my children. I think I was wrong. I'm not for wholesale beating -- or even light spanking, for that matter -- as an answer to everything, but I do think spanking has its uses. Sometimes when I look at the spoiled rotten kids of today (not just my own), there are times when I think it could hurt a lot more not to spank. But parents should never spank (or discipline in any other way) when angry. Stop, cool down first, and then act appropriately.
-- Marlboro Man
So, instead of spanking, discipline should be used. Plain ol' regular discipline. Instead of sitting there saying, "I can't spank, I can't do ANYTHING!" find OTHER non-aggressive ways of dealing with your child. There truly is alternatives to spanking. It's time parents, found out what it is to get off their butts and learn about them.

Before you spank, please think of this. You promise your child that you will protect and love them forever. You spank, and your child is forever in doubt of whether you really mean what you say. You hit them, you caused pain, how could they NOT doubt what you say.
f you hit your child, you are only teaching them that hitting is ok, you are teaching them that they should fear you. I do not know about you, but I do not want my child to fear me EVER! It breaks my heart even thinking about her fearing me!

    0 comments:

    Post a Comment

    There was an error in this gadget

    Add to Facebook

    Cat Uncaged on Facebook

    Followers

    There was an error in this gadget