Sunday, February 21, 2010
I guess I need to clarify an early post
I seem to have angered a few people, and while that was not my intention, I will clarify my own PERSONAL opinion.

First of all, I respect all opinions whether they "match" my own or not. I'm not out to be a bully and say "My opinion matters and yours does not" that is a stupid assumption. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

Secondly, and this is probably the most important point. I NEVER at any time said, nor would I, that someone who does not have children, be it by choice or design, was inferior to me in any way! My husband and I chose to have a child. That being said, those who choose to not have children are in no way wrong for that desire.
My anger with Happily Childfree is that the site seems to blatantly attack mothers for their choice to have kids. Before this date, I have never, ever thought less of anyone for not having a child. I did not post that childless, or childfree people were stupid or unintelligent, I posted that I thought the creator of the blog/site was.

I don't walk up to random people in the store and expect them to gawk and stare and appreciate my child. Perhaps that's just me, but that's not my way. If you don't like my child, that's your choice. I love her, and nothing ANYONE says will take that away.

I get angry when people believe that the world owes them something and that everyone else should suffer because of their lack of whatever it is they need to feel superior to others. I am not in the business of taking others down and Happily Childfree can do and say as they please. That being said, I do not have to agree with it. Nor do they have to agree with me.

Now's the point when I have to control my temper and attempt to remain calm. I am not smug, nor am I superior just because I "Popped" out a child. I'm not a baby farm. I have ONE child. Maybe someday I would like to have another. Using the term "Popping out a few" is silly. Childless people have NO IDEA what it is actually like to give birth, believe me it's nothing like Popping. Think more along the lines of extreme pain, lots of ripping and tearing etc.

I have quite a few friends who do not have children. I have never thought anything less of them. I do not badger people to have kids. It's YOUR choice. If you feel you are better suited NOT having kids, by all means, DON'T. It's OK and I don't care. I enjoy talking about my daughter, but I am learning to not center every conversation around her.

The thing is, when you have a child, your brain wires itself in a way that makes you protective and proud. You want the world to see how special your child is. It's a protection and nature thing. As far as being smug, or superior, that's not the case. I am what's known as "Poor White Trash". Having a child didn't make me rich, FAR FROM IT, Having a child didn't make me better than anyone. Perhaps though it made me a better person overall. Maybe that's what mothers want. Maybe we see how we've changed and automatically assume that everyone wants or needs that. I know that some people are happy without kids, and I say HOORAY. I want you to be happy. I ask that you respect my decision to have a child, and I will respect you.


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