Thursday, March 4, 2010
READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH. DO NOT COMMENT IF YOU HAVEN'T

I am sick and tired of hearing people judge me for the educated choices I have made.
I do not follow blindly I decide everything for myself. If I don’t agree, I get a second and third and fourth opinion.
I’m going to lay it all out for you… I want people to understand something very important!
You are not a bad mom for not breastfeeding and you are not a bad mom for not co-sleeping.
You are not a bad mom for vaccinating your children, and you are not a bad mom for allowing your child to learn some independence.
I remember 3 years ago when my daughter was born, I was made to feel like shit because she didn’t co-sleep. Yes, I said SHE didn’t. She didn’t and doesn’t sleep with me, she doesn’t like it. I don’t know if it’s cause I move around too much or what. She WANTED to sleep in her own room. We tried to keep her in our room, for two LONG sleepless weeks we tried it. She wouldn’t sleep. In her own room, she slept great.
I breastfed my daughter for 6 months, 6 very hard, very emotional months. I did EVERYTHING I could to keep breastfeeding, but Cailyn didn’t like breastfeeding or whatever, and preferred not only the bottle, but to lay on the floor with it. Her doctor said she was showing signs of independence very early on. I felt like shit. I felt as if I had failed her, when in fact I did not. I did what any mother would do, I did what was best for my daughter.
I vaccinate my daughter, so shoot me! I have made many educated choices in regards to my daughter. Just because of the things that were NOT in my control, I am not a bad mother.
I am not a bad mother for many of the things that have taken place with my daughter, that others disagree with, sometimes to the point of excluding me from things.
We, as parents need to learn something. STOP PUTTING OTHER MOTHERS DOWN FOR THEIR CHOICES!
Just because someone does not do what you say, that doesn’t give you the right to treat them as if they are stupid and do not matter.
We make choices in our children’s lives. Bottle feeding IS NOT ABUSE! Not co-sleeping IS NOT NEGLECT! My choice to vaccinate my daughter IS NOT STUPID!
Stop judging me and treating me like I am stupid! My daughter is 3 and had the mentality and intelligence of a 7 year old! My daughter is funny and loving and very attached to both my husband and I. My parenting may not mirror yours, but that does NOT make me any less of a mother. Instead of judging me, maybe learn from me. I’m not perfect, and I am learning. But you are NOT going to get people to your way of thinking by shoving your opinions down other’s throats.
We need to offer ourselves and our opinions as guidance not law. I loved the time I had that I could breastfeed my daughter. I would have done it longer if I could have. She did not want it. There is NOTHING I could do about it and I tortured myself about it for a LONG time.
I am not saying do not advocate what you are passionate about, that’s stupid. What I am saying, do not make others feel horrible and worthless because they don’t follow your beliefs 100% of the time.
We want others to think and learn things for themselves.
IF you choose something, know WHY you are choosing it. If you choose to breastfeed, own it, love it. IF you choose to formula feed, know that there are complications and formula isn’t as good as breast milk. If you choose to formula feed because you feel breastfeeding is gross, don’t even post on my page. I don’t want to hear it. If you have a baby you WILL encounter things MUCH worse than what nature intended. There is NOTHING wrong with breastfeeding.
Your breasts are NOT intended as toys for your husband. Your breasts create milk, for your child.
Whatever your choices, own them, know WHY you chose what you do. Be open to others opinions and choices and don’t shun someone for theirs. (unless they chose to beat and neglect their child, well in that case, call DHS)
Nothing justifies spanking, or hitting, to me. Don’t even try. If you hit, or spank, then you are clearly NOT educating yourself in regards to your child, and I have no respect for that at ALL.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm proud of you for owning your choices. When I decided to be a stay at home mom and not work some people assumed that I did it because my husband made me or because I was just lazy. But I did it because it's what I really wanted to do, and I did it the right way without going on welfare. I've always said if I ever had to go on welfare I would go back to work first. I'm glad I was able to give the past 4 years of my life to my son, and now that I've made the decision to go back to work I'll own that one too.
-Misty

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